Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
