it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
