My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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