VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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