I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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