There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
