Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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