just come out here and I will go home with you...
it's like iHOP with fire
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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