Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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