i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
