I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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