it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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