Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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