I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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