Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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