he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
