Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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