you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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