You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
