why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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