WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
