i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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