At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.