Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.