Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

wrong number but thanks

Fav 18 8402 1139
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?

Fav 31 1585 6342
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

Fav 20 14370 1063
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

Fav 17 3995 1328
share tweet
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

Fav 28 5487 1755
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.

Fav 13 2415 1390
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

Fav 7 4872 1135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

Fav 8 1812 573
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.

Fav 1 590 598
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT