someone threw a dead crab at me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall