But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
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I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My vagina is officially offended.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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