You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
