i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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