I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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