So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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