I just pynch a tree in the face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
