i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
