Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize