Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have tasted many bathrooms
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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