Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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