dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
