I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Found the puke drawer
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
