it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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