I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
