I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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