Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
