Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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