i may or may not be watching the land before time
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize