I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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