So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
