There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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