Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
