i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
