it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
