Your face is a jimmy john
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
