How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
