Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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