I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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