I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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