Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
