nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i think i just lost a toe
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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