Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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