how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
