The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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