we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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